Well hello there folks. Another week has passed. Regardless of how it may have turned out, please keep in mind that we're all very fortunate to have another week on this small planet of ours. In any event, today I want to start off with a quote before we get into the job leads.
"Control your destiny or somebody else will."
- Jack Welsh.
When you read my random thought for today, you'll see why I picked this powerful quote and that weird sci-fish image on the left.
In the late 80's there was a song and album by Janet Jackson (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty. lol) known as Control. The song & album were basically a celebration of Janet's new found freedom from her ex-husband but more importantly her controlling father. As we all know Joe Jackson was the poster boy for an overbearing controlling parent. In his mind he felt he was grooming his kids for success. To a certain degree he did achieve this with some obvious exceptions (Sorry Tito). But his control came at a price which became very evident via Michael. So what does this have to do with anything? Well in the last week or so I have spoken to a few loyal subscribers who ran into a control issue.
One person recently had her account disabled by a prominent get paid to write article site and was given no explanation. A similar situation happened to an upcoming affiliate marketer who was using an external content management system to post articles for his niche. Their experiences compelled me to share some of the advice I gave them to you. When it comes to work at home, business and in life, you want to put yourself in a position of control. If not you're at the whim of others and you can't really cry about it if they decide to flip the rules on you.
For instance, have you ever noticed that I don't have articles on free sites like Helium or Associated Content, etc.? They are great sites to make money writing about anything. But my biggest fear has always been, what happens if the site shuts down? What happens if they decide to change their terms of conditions or I mistakenly do something that rubs them the wrong way? Well if you've read some of the comments on my articles about those sites, you already know the answer. You're screwed! There is little recourse on your end because you don't control their site! They do. It's because of this lack of control which led me to invest in my own domain name and hosting. This way I'm in control. For the most part, no one can take away my domain name from me. If I don't like my hosting company, I can change them as well and have. The other thing to keep in mind in those get paid to write article sites is your effort. The amount of energy you use to write and promote articles on those external site is the same amount of energy you can use for your own site. So why not bust your ass for yourself and reap all of the rewards instead of sharing it with some other folks that pretty much have you in their grips if they decide to flip on you?
So that's one example but control plays a huge part in other facets of our lives too. When I worked for the man there was an upper manager (not my direct one because he was great) that had the ultimate say as to who got a promotion or not. The problem was he never felt anyone deserved a promotion or raise even if that employee's direct manager thought it was well deserved. What made matters worst was the fact that this person did less work than all of us. So the weakest link in our organization was dictating who added value. This burned me up and I felt I had little control over it. I was bitter angry and a very Negative Nancy. I refused to kiss this manager's ass nor did I respect them as a person or manager. For a while, I continued to groan and moan about it with other co-workers. We had a lot of pity parties as Joel Osteen likes to call them. But eventually I went through a mindset change. I soon realized that I was in control of the situation. If I didn't like what was being done to me I could leave the job. The other option was to work harder on my exit strategy to free myself from this Alice In Wonderland environment he had created by succeeding with my sites. As many of you know, I chose the latter. I built up my career as an affiliate marketer / blogger and raised the hell up out of there on my own terms. Although late, I was I able to take control of the situation, I didn't let the situation take control of me.
You can do the same thing in all other facets of your life. Right now your mate may be doing something that is driving you crazy but you're being silent about it. How has that helped the situation? Maybe in your mind you're keeping the peace. But what you may not realize is that it's probably manifesting itself in other parts of your relationship. I'm sure if you think about it, you know what I mean. If that is the case, then speak up about it and continue to act on it until the behavior changes. If that doesn't work than the option might be to move on. It may not be a very easy option but it is a choice that you have control over one way or another. (P.S. one of my Fabulous Virtual Assistants, Denise has a great site about relationships that you may want to check out www.RelationshipAdviceHelps.com, But I digress. lol )
Have your kids lost their damn minds and are under the misconception that they can back talk you without fear of reprisal? If so you may want to consider a tried and true method of communication especially designed for these ingrates that will give you your control back. First sit them down on your couch, take a deep breath and then drop kick them straight in their chest. Well maybe that's a tad bit harsh for your taste. lol But seriously you're the parent and they are the kids. Take control and dictate the situation. Don't whine to your husband or wife that the kids don't respect you. You make them respect you or stop your crying about the situation. Because if you really think about it, you've made a decision to give up control, not them. They're just reacting to the control you've relinquished. So who's really to blame in that situation?
The point of all this is that we all have a lot more control than we give ourselves credit for. I think a lot of times we've created these imaginary brick walls in our mind that lead us to feel we're boxed into a given situation. But you're not! There are always options to choose. They may not be easy or even desirable at a given moment but they are there. Complaining about a situation is just a waste of energy because it doesn't change the situation. Focus on the areas you can control and take action on them. There was a little rap group in the early 90s called Black Sheep. They had a few popular songs. But there was one song that blew up called Flavor of the Month. It was very catchy but what really stood out to me was a simple little verse that I have always kept in mind when I find myself whining about a situation or hear others complain:
"It only happens because you let it!"
Although the context of that phrase wasn't being used in the most uplifting manner within the song, I was able to see past that and use those 7 words as a way to view my life. It's such a powerful statement that reigns true for all of us if you really think about it. If you find that you're doing a lot of complaining or are in a situation where you feel you've lost control, repeat that line. Then like everything else I've stated on this blog, take action on it! All of you are capable grown ass adults that don't have to endure anyone's nonsense. I don't care if it's a person or company. You always have choices one way or another even if they're difficult. So give that some thought because I'm certain that many of us are in situations right now that seem out of our control. Hopefully now you have a different perspective on them.
So that's my spiel for the day. By the way, let me make this clear.
Disclaimer: Eddy is not proposing that you do anything reckless because of your new found awareness of control. Talking "greasy" can get you in a world of hurt. For instance, It's probably not a good idea to head into work tomorrow and tell your boss to kiss your ass. Unless you have another job lined up, your spouse has it like that or you have a successful business waiting, kissing off your boss is not exercising control. It's just "ignt". So please resist the temptation to do so.
Just in case that example wasn't clear enough, here's another for your consideration. Running to your husband and exclaiming "Well Eddy said I'm in control so from now on I'll be taking the remote and we'll be watching the Lifetime network" is asking for an argument. I'm letting you know right now, I'm not co-signing such behavior and will emphatically denounce such actions to your husband if he decides to call me out on it. And Lord have mercy, please keep my name out your mouth when talking to that man. I don't want any beef with random men because you decided to misinterpret my optional advice. Eddy is a lover not a fighter. lol
But seriously, like everything in life, use your common sense and restraint when exercising your control. Your actions should always strive for balance and be well thought out. If not, you may end up in a worst situation then you started.
Okay so now that I have that disclaimer out there, lets's move on to the real reason most of you are here, money! So check out this week's job leads recap below. Enjoy.
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