Well hello there folks. Another week has passed. Regardless of how it may have turned out, please keep in mind that we're all very fortunate to have another week on this small planet of ours. In any event, today I want to start off with a quote before we get into the job leads.
"Control your destiny or somebody else will."
– Jack Welsh.
When you read my random thought for today, you'll see why I picked this powerful quote and that weird sci-fish image on the left.
Random Thought
Control…
In the late 80's there was a song and album by Janet Jackson (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty. lol) known as Control. The song & album were basically a celebration of Janet's new found freedom from her ex-husband but more importantly her controlling father. As we all know Joe Jackson was the poster boy for an overbearing controlling parent. In his mind he felt he was grooming his kids for success. To a certain degree he did achieve this with some obvious exceptions (Sorry Tito). But his control came at a price which became very evident via Michael. So what does this have to do with anything? Well in the last week or so I have spoken to a few loyal subscribers who ran into a control issue.
One person recently had her account disabled by a prominent get paid to write article site and was given no explanation. A similar situation happened to an upcoming affiliate marketer who was using an external content management system to post articles for his niche. Their experiences compelled me to share some of the advice I gave them to you. When it comes to work at home, business and in life, you want to put yourself in a position of control. If not you're at the whim of others and you can't really cry about it if they decide to flip the rules on you.
For instance, have you ever noticed that I don't have articles on free sites like Helium or Associated Content, etc.? They are great sites to make money writing about anything. But my biggest fear has always been, what happens if the site shuts down? What happens if they decide to change their terms of conditions or I mistakenly do something that rubs them the wrong way? Well if you've read some of the comments on my articles about those sites, you already know the answer. You're screwed! There is little recourse on your end because you don't control their site! They do. It's because of this lack of control which led me to invest in my own domain name and hosting. This way I'm in control. For the most part, no one can take away my domain name from me. If I don't like my hosting company, I can change them as well and have. The other thing to keep in mind in those get paid to write article sites is your effort. The amount of energy you use to write and promote articles on those external site is the same amount of energy you can use for your own site. So why not bust your ass for yourself and reap all of the rewards instead of sharing it with some other folks that pretty much have you in their grips if they decide to flip on you?
So that's one example but control plays a huge part in other facets of our lives too. When I worked for the man there was an upper manager (not my direct one because he was great) that had the ultimate say as to who got a promotion or not. The problem was he never felt anyone deserved a promotion or raise even if that employee's direct manager thought it was well deserved. What made matters worst was the fact that this person did less work than all of us. So the weakest link in our organization was dictating who added value. This burned me up and I felt I had little control over it. I was bitter angry and a very Negative Nancy. I refused to kiss this manager's ass nor did I respect them as a person or manager. For a while, I continued to groan and moan about it with other co-workers. We had a lot of pity parties as Joel Osteen likes to call them. But eventually I went through a mindset change. I soon realized that I was in control of the situation. If I didn't like what was being done to me I could leave the job. The other option was to work harder on my exit strategy to free myself from this Alice In Wonderland environment he had created by succeeding with my sites. As many of you know, I chose the latter. I built up my career as an affiliate marketer / blogger and raised the hell up out of there on my own terms. Although late, I was I able to take control of the situation, I didn't let the situation take control of me.
You can do the same thing in all other facets of your life. Right now your mate may be doing something that is driving you crazy but you're being silent about it. How has that helped the situation? Maybe in your mind you're keeping the peace. But what you may not realize is that it's probably manifesting itself in other parts of your relationship. I'm sure if you think about it, you know what I mean. If that is the case, then speak up about it and continue to act on it until the behavior changes. If that doesn't work than the option might be to move on. It may not be a very easy option but it is a choice that you have control over one way or another. (P.S. one of my Fabulous Virtual Assistants, Denise has a great site about relationships that you may want to check out www.RelationshipAdviceHelps.com, But I digress. lol )
Have your kids lost their damn minds and are under the misconception that they can back talk you without fear of reprisal? If so you may want to consider a tried and true method of communication especially designed for these ingrates that will give you your control back. First sit them down on your couch, take a deep breath and then drop kick them straight in their chest. Well maybe that's a tad bit harsh for your taste. lol But seriously you're the parent and they are the kids. Take control and dictate the situation. Don't whine to your husband or wife that the kids don't respect you. You make them respect you or stop your crying about the situation. Because if you really think about it, you've made a decision to give up control, not them. They're just reacting to the control you've relinquished. So who's really to blame in that situation?
The point of all this is that we all have a lot more control than we give ourselves credit for. I think a lot of times we've created these imaginary brick walls in our mind that lead us to feel we're boxed into a given situation. But you're not! There are always options to choose. They may not be easy or even desirable at a given moment but they are there. Complaining about a situation is just a waste of energy because it doesn't change the situation. Focus on the areas you can control and take action on them. There was a little rap group in the early 90s called Black Sheep. They had a few popular songs. But there was one song that blew up called Flavor of the Month. It was very catchy but what really stood out to me was a simple little verse that I have always kept in mind when I find myself whining about a situation or hear others complain:
"It only happens because you let it!"
– Dres
Although the context of that phrase wasn't being used in the most uplifting manner within the song, I was able to see past that and use those 7 words as a way to view my life. It's such a powerful statement that reigns true for all of us if you really think about it. If you find that you're doing a lot of complaining or are in a situation where you feel you've lost control, repeat that line. Then like everything else I've stated on this blog, take action on it! All of you are capable grown ass adults that don't have to endure anyone's nonsense. I don't care if it's a person or company. You always have choices one way or another even if they're difficult. So give that some thought because I'm certain that many of us are in situations right now that seem out of our control. Hopefully now you have a different perspective on them.
So that's my spiel for the day. By the way, let me make this clear.
Disclaimer: Eddy is not proposing that you do anything reckless because of your new found awareness of control. Talking "greasy" can get you in a world of hurt. For instance, It's probably not a good idea to head into work tomorrow and tell your boss to kiss your ass. Unless you have another job lined up, your spouse has it like that or you have a successful business waiting, kissing off your boss is not exercising control. It's just "ignt". So please resist the temptation to do so.
Just in case that example wasn't clear enough, here's another for your consideration. Running to your husband and exclaiming "Well Eddy said I'm in control so from now on I'll be taking the remote and we'll be watching the Lifetime network" is asking for an argument. I'm letting you know right now, I'm not co-signing such behavior and will emphatically denounce such actions to your husband if he decides to call me out on it. And Lord have mercy, please keep my name out your mouth when talking to that man. I don't want any beef with random men because you decided to misinterpret my optional advice. Eddy is a lover not a fighter. lol
But seriously, like everything in life, use your common sense and restraint when exercising your control. Your actions should always strive for balance and be well thought out. If not, you may end up in a worst situation then you started.
Okay so now that I have that disclaimer out there, lets's move on to the real reason most of you are here, money! So check out this week's job leads recap below. Enjoy.
Monday 3/22/2010
– Editor
– Translators and Interpreters
Tuesday 3/23/2010
– Writer
– Auditor
– Writer
– Writer
Wednesday 3/24/2010
– Customer Service Representative
– Writer
Thursday 3/25/2010
– Operator
– eLearning Instructional Designer
Recommended Instant Work At Home Opportunities
Work At Home With Amazon.com (Data Entry, Typing, etc)
More Job Leads
HomeJobStop.com (Membership based site)
Hi Eddy. I stumbled across your site by accident….(or not?! lol). I must tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed your Control article! You really hit the nail on the head, and articulated what’s been on my mind for some time now. When you’re a part of the rat race, you have the rat race mentality – and I’m so over it. Working in call centers for the better part of ten years, I’ve dealt with what I felt was a lot of unnecessary office politics – plus, although it was never said aloud, it was often implied that I had to put my job before my kids! Well, long story short: I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I found a work at home customer service gig that I love. I get to create my OWN schedule, put my family first, and go to work in my skivvies if I feel like it. 🙂 It’s like you said in your article, you have to do you. I say AMEN! Anyways, keep up the great articles & much continued success to you!
Hey Marsha,
Thanks for sharing your story with me! I’m glad you can relate to my feelings about control. Obviously you understand the concept very well considering your success with a work at home job you love. It’s always burned me when employers make us feel awful for putting our families first. It goes to show how our values are in disarray. But fortunately we have choices we can make and CONTROL over them. Thanks again for sharing. I really appreciate it.
I must say, I really took this advice on owning your own domain to heart. I have been throwing around the idea of buying my own domain but was struggling with if it was worthwhile to do so. I have been using Weebly for my subdomain and kept being reminded that the domain I was using as my subdomain name was available. I broke down about an hour ago and went ahead and purchased it. I think it is a good move! Besides with the check I have coming from FusionCash that pretty much covers what I spent! Great advice, thank you!
Good step in the right direction. I would encourage you to get your own hosting too if you’re on some free hosting plan because the same rules apply. If the free hosting all of sudden doesn’t like your content or you violated some rule unknowingly, bang! All your content is gone. So don’t stop at your domain, own everything including your hosting. Keep taking action Tiff, you’re doing great.
Thanks a million for the control post. I’ve been taking control of my life lately and am excited. I am however taking a serious mental note of that drop kicking a kid in the chest…I might have file that away and use it later, lol. That’s something to think about too, having more control of your content. I keep thinking about creating my own site lately so I can post what I want only. thanks
LMAO,
Definitely keep the drop check filed away. You never know when you need to use it with these kids today. lol
I definitely encourage you to give more thought to having your own site. I’m not saying folks have to give up the get paid to write sites. You can still those. But the goal should always be to be independent. Try to work on both things at the same time until maybe you can transition to just working on your site. Keep me posted either way. Get your control on.
Impressed. I’m so very impressed with this article Eddy. The metaphors you use are brilliant because they are simple to understand for regular folks. You really know your niche! This article could seriously help change peoples whole perspective in life, business and personal, not just about taking control, but about finding methods that work for them by using these crucial elements that are tried and true. You have to be in the right mindset.
I’ve been spending about 14 hours per day on my new Internet Marketing Affiliate venture and the best decision I’ve made thus far, which was rooted in past failure of not being in control, was investing in my own domain name and more importantly finding a hosting company that is bad ass. That alone took me a whole day because I was examining every review online from various sources and comparing their plan with other ones.
I used the live chat feature to talk with about 5 hosting companies that I had selected as my list to choose from. The company I chose to go with, impressed not only because their plan was so robust but because when I used their live chat feature to speak with sales, I got a REAL person, that answered all of my questions. I then went to the other companies and with their live chat, I couldn’t tell if they were a robot or a person. They kept copying and pasting the same thing over and over again, and wouldn’t answer any of my questions. RED FLAG!
So I went back to the hosting company I ultimately chose, just to make sure that first chat wasn’t a fluke. Guess what? I was talking with a different real person. Now that they are my hosting company I can chat with with their technicians 24/7 and have talked with a lot of interesting/ helpful people that walk me through just about anything pertaining to my account. If I have a problem with file management in FTP, which I have limited knowledge of they are willing to assist at any time.
My point is you have to employ such methods if you expect to make a well informed decision in business and life in general. The day I spent doing this was time well spent in the end obviously. At the end of the day, I was the only one that could make the decision and I think that’s central to the theme of this article.
I’m originally from Northern California. As you’ve all probably seen time and again on the news, there are always wild fires raging in that region. Smokey the Bear has morphed over the years because of new special effects technologies but his message is still the same. “Only YOU can prevent wild fires.” The same thing is true for anything else, although there are exceptions and some things truly are out of your control. However most things are in your control and only YOU can make those all important decisions that will determine whether or not the you see the results you want and reach the goals you’ve set for yourself.
@ Leticia. The brick guy is The Thing lol He’s my favorite character in the Fantastic 4 franchise. Reason being, his character is so complex. Big, strong, and brick on the outside but really he’s a just a softy on the inside. I know it’s so hard for you ladies to find such a guy! lol
“Just in case that example wasn’t clear enough, here’s another for your consideration. Running to your husband and exclaiming “Well Eddy said I’m in control so from now on I’ll be taking the remote and we’ll be watching the Lifetime network”
I could not stop laughing. Women just love their Lifetime Network, not that its a bad thing, so don’t take out your frying pans girls lol
Bravo! Keep these bad boys coming!
Eddy,
Re control
Years ago I was a client of a psychiatrist who helped me over a very rough patch. He told me something that has stayed with me: Put yourself in the best possible “I” position. Do not put yourself in a “you”position, one where you say “I could be happy if only you would change.” The only person over whom you have any control is yourself. Therefore, if the situation is bad, you say “If this does not change, I will take steps.” This takes courage and the ability to assume responsibility, but it is the only way to go.
Eunice
Letitia,
I think that’s great. Internet marketing isn’t for everyone. You need to follow what works for you. Although ironically a lot of internet marketing has to do with writing. However I think for some folks it’s easier for them to write content if they don’t have to think about the other elements necessary to market that content. So I can understand how freelance writing appeals to you. At the end of the day, it’s whatever works for you. If you’re doing well with something, you run with it. And if it doesn’t work out, just remember you’re in control to change the outcome.
Maddy,
Thank you, thank you (taking my virtual bow. lol). Apparently my sage drop kick advice caught a few people off guard. Obviously I don’t think that type of treatment is wise. But it was more of metaphor about parents being parents and taking control of their bad ass kids by any “healthy” means necessary. In any event thanks for sharing that synopsis of the fantastic 4 episode you watched. It’s definitely a message that holds true! Isn’t amazing where we can find wisdom and inspiration if we’re open to it?
In any event, you’re welcome for the humor. Thanks for appreciating my twisted humor and how I relay my little two cents.
Wendy,
Aww shucks. If I could blush right now, I would be doing it. lol I’m happy you appreciated today’s article. Thanks for reading it and chiming in. I really appreciate the support.
Big Sis (Ms. Edrena)
We’re both from the old school. I think it’s great to talk to your children and all. For the most part a parent should be able to relay the boundaries via conversations or my other preference is “the look”. But sometimes a child responds better to a good old fashion “spanking”, “ass-whopping”, “corporal punishment” or whatever the heck they’re calling these things nowadays.
I think some of the issues we see in the world today is a direct result of parents who had given up control to their kids for whatever reasons. Then these children grow up to be adults that are responsible for decisions of major companies and the world. Obviously this has lead to some very bad situations for the rest of us. So a lack of control can have far reaching effects. With that said, shout out to parents like you Ms Edrena who realized how important it was to draw the line in the sand so that their children understood the consequences of their actions. If more parents took control of their kids, I think we’d all live in a far better world. As always thanks for the support Big Sis although I doubt my article would be viewed as a sermon considering all the “cussing” I do. But the length and preachiness of it might qualify for that label. lol
Eunice,
That was some great advice! Your shrink definitely was earning his/her hourly rate. I might have to write that quote down. Thanks for sharing such wonderful advice!
I especially liked the part about who the child(ren)/parent(s) is/are. I would never allow a child of mine to disrespect me and; YES; I did “spank” when necessary; but I had a child who was intelligent enough to know who the parent was, who the child was, and the consequences of mixing up or misunderstanding the difference. He knew exactly who the parent was. I had ONE child, a man-child. Part of his life I was his only parent so I had to practice and juggle sweet love and tough love. All in all, the entire article was a very good “mini-sermon” on a very important subject. Thanks for your usual sage advice, Eddy.
Eddy,
This is awesome! Totally, totally awesome…I’m giving you a standing ovation. Control and who has it, how much we give away or keep, when it comes to us as adults, is a very large issue, no, it’s huge. It touches so many things, like what a person really wants, that literally days could be spent discussing all the things that it touches.
You’ve grabbed hold of the key pin and pulled that puppy loose…Hooray!!!
Thank you for writing this.
Wendy
Eddy,
Applause, Applause, Applause. You wrote a great article with good humor about a serious topic. I about fell out of my chair with your drop-kick suggestion. I’m mommy but I’m a momma so I understand…back in the day…
But your article reminded me of an Fantastic Four episode I watched once. (And I really haven’t watched many comics outside of PBS with a five-year-old but this episode caught me.) The brick guy – I forget his name – ended up with the technology to control the world. His ego got the best of him and he lost the balance within. He ended up fighting his own character whose ego had gotten out of control and basically wanted to destroy that in which he couldn’t control. He finally defeated the controlling egotistical image of himself and realized SELF CONTROL IS THE GREATEST POWER IN THE UNIVERSE. Thanks for the article and the chuckles this morning!
Maddy
Ha…Eddy,
To be honest I have fallen more into writing for Associated Content, but am currently looking into other writing sites. It pays a bit quicker and I like it a alot. I think I am leaning more into being a freelance writer than an internet marketer. However, internet marketing opened the door to this revelation. I am writing a “novel” on and off. I don’t know if it is any good, but I like working on it. It’s fun and it might actual pay one day.
Letitia
This was a very inspirational article. Really makes me want to work harder.
Thanks for that “control” post Eddy! Very inspiring and enlightening for me…a beginner in this internet business world.
Jeremy,
You’re welcome! Glad to share the knowledge.
Letitia,
Glad it inspired you. Just make sure you’re working hard at your goals and not neccessarily someone elses unless that is your goal. 😉